I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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