Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
