I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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