Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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