Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
