Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize