no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
