well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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