don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
