Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
third nipple confirmed
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
