another moral hangover. fuck.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
