Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
