Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
