i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
