The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
