Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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