I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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