He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
