Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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