dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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