this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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