yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
