I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
