I love black thongs
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
