Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
