What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize