I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
