we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize