So drunk its hurt
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
