DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize