I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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