I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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