Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
