I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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