I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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