You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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