I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize