Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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