There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
