Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
