toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
