We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
