Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm always down for nudity.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
