Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
