Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
then he tried to convert me to islam
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
