Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize