You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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