im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
