i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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