i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think my vagina is haunted
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
