If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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