She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
