I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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