he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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