Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize