Moan for me like Helen Keller
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I touched a dick in church today
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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