i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
