Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
