Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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