are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
