Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
