Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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