I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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