I cut my penus on the lid.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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