oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i came on her dog
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
