He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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