I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My breasts were aching with rage.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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